I'm not sure if it's my own laziness or as I like to call it, extreme chilled-out-ness, or the fact that I haven't grasped the whole thing just quite yet, but I have JUST started to prepare for my trip. I don't think I will grasp the whole entirety of the amazing experience that I have on my plate until I'm on the plane! (Update #1: My departure flight is on the 8th of August, two days before my 19th birthday, and my arrival flight is on the 16th of December).
Last Friday was my first medical checkup. My GP had to fill in three pages worth of information on me such as weight, height, blood pressure and other unknown medical things. I found myself in a blank mindless state, following the gentle orders from my doctor. A bright light in my eyes, something poked in my ear, paddle-pop stick in my mouth, a cold stethoscope listening to my respiratory rate all over my body, gentle finger presses on my stomach (unexpectedly very ticklish and made me laugh out loud). Shoes off to lie down on the tiny blue bed at the end of the room, shoes back on to sit on the chair, shoes off to measure height, back onto the bed, shoes on to sit back down, shoes off to check weight, shoes on for vaccinations. Ah, vaccinations...Those dreaded pointy things that have the potential to save my life. For those who don't know, I very much dislike needles. Unfortunately I have to receive up to ten for my trip. I received the Influenza shot last week and I'm booked for two more shots tomorrow. Results from my blood test I took last week (I felt so woozy afterwards, thought I was about to feint!) will be shown tomorrow to see my immunity for what diseases.
Hopefully, all.
My progress to finish unlocking the Trailblazer Award is on its way. My final task is to creatively raise a minimum of $500. And I have decided to do that through......drumroll please......a bake sale! Unfortunately my oven broke so I have planned to bake at my cousins house next Saturday and sell them at church over a few weeks (freshly baked batches, of course) and hopefully raise $500.
As time ticks closer to August, and my excitement grows and grows, I can't help but get a tiny bit terrified at the whole experience. A few weeks ago, I became very unsure of the responsibilities I will be given over in the large, crowded, mysterious city of Kolkata (Update #2: I'm being placed in Kolkata which is in the far east part of India. Not too sure if I'll be in the rural, suburban or city area).
I began doubting my abilities and whether my time spent over there will contribute to some kind of difference. If 5months was really worth - well, anything. A message from my friend Evelyn who is currently in her English teaching placement in Delhi, India said:
"It's just very hard being in this school because we're in a very conservative village who don't really understand why we're here, the purpose of volunteers and stuff.."
What if my service is rejected too?
I began fearing the 'Delhi Belly'. A term coined for the almost guaranteed painful experience of food and water poisoning. I really really really really don't want food poisoning!
I began to question my social skills. What if I can't make friends? What if nobody likes me? What if I don't get along with my team members? What if my team members leave and I'm left in this country all my myself? Unfortunately volunteer withdrawal from the country is not uncommon. All volunteers are allowed to return back home whenever they want, if they really want to. Two of the three man team my friend, Alesha, is in in Vietnam have left, leaving her as a one man team until the end of her placement. Two of the six man team Evelyn is in in India have left within the first three weeks. This freaks me out a little, that the option of leaving is so available. What if, in my future home-sickness that I experience, I take this option?
I began fearing the lack of communication I'll have with family and loved ones. What if my internet sucks and I won't be able to Skype? That would mean I won't see the faces of family members and loved ones for 5months... Phone calls will be limited due to to expense, which means hearing the sound of their voices will be a weekly, even a fortnightly occurrence. Communication via Facebook and e-mails for that long seems extremely daunting.
And on top of all this, I am still pretty much left in the dark of what exactly I will be doing. However, a recent interview with Jan Owen, the chief executive of the Foundation of Young Australians which initiated Young People Without Borders, and The Age gave me a teeny tiny little insight of what to expect.
MS: How will Young People Without Borders actually work? Can you go into a bit of detail there? As I understand it there are 200 about to head off this year.
JO: This year there are 200 trailblazers, as we describe them, that have headed off to teach English in schools across the region, and teach sport, which apparently every young Australian can do, and to get involved in community work. Those young people in community work (that's me!) are working in teams with young people from Australia and young people from other countries. That program is all about connecting young people on the ground.
If you'll like to read more, here is the entire transcript:
http://www.theage.com.au/opinion/full-transcript-jan-owen-20120429-1xsps.html#ixzz1toeh8ETe
So that's new information! I'll be working with a team of young people in India. I'm excited for that! However, the actual responsibilities of what I'll be doing is still fuzzy. A mixture of English teaching, working in orphanages, helping disabled individuals, building homes and buildings, planting trees is what I vaguely remember in the pamphlet I read last year. A full itinerary will be available in the Sydney Pre-departure Camp that is happening early June. So, that isn't too far away. If anyone from ACT, NSW, QLD and NT are in my team, I will meet them there. Exciting times (:
I can't rid myself from these fears, doubts and questions. They will always be there, running marathons in the back of my mind until I get to India. However, I do know why I'm going there. I have good intentions and I have the right attitude and I will try my best to do what I can to give back to this world.
Silver and gold I do not have, but what I have I give you.
- Acts 2:6
